Cowden Support Program, Month 1, Day 3

I almost forgot to blog today! I know I said I might not blog every day, but since I remembered and feel up to it, I figured why not.

Today I increased my dose of Parsley to either 6-7 drops (I can't remember!) and I did feel it in my head again. This herb definitely makes me spacey and I'm hoping my body adjusts to it soon. I increased the Burbur/Pinella to 8 drops and seem to be okay with those for now.  Tomorrow starts the treatment other than these detox herbs. I will be starting some of the herbal antimicrobials and one of the supplements. I forget exactly which ones, but I'll post about it tomorrow. 

I was extremely exhausted again today, but I managed to go to church and stay for a meeting after. I pretty much relaxed the rest of the day, and had another nice, long nap. That's about it for today! 

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 2

I made it through my full first day of the Cowden Support Program, and am almost done with Day 2. I'm happy to say that I did reach the recommended goal of drinking the 100 ounces of water, and I'm almost at that goal today as well. 

The first three days of the program have you drinking Parsley and Burber/Pinella. I have been on Burber/Pinella in the past, but this was my first experience with Parsley. The recommended dose to start is 10 drops in 4 ounces of water, but knowing from past experience (and advice from my LLMD!) it's best to start lower and work your way up, I started out with 5 drops of each. I have to say that my head felt extremely spacey after drinking the Parsley the first day. The feeling wore off after a few hours, but it was really uncomfortable. I was fine with the Burber/Pinella. Today I did not seem to have the same reaction, but I stayed at the 5 drops just to be sure. I will increase tomorrow and see how it goes. 

Today my fatigue was really bad! It was one of those days where I just felt like a complete zombie. As a matter of fact, I just woke up from a several hour "nap". I did my best to stay productive today, but I hit my wall and had to rest. I feel a little better now and just took my dose of Parsley before dinner. 

Available for purchase in my shop! 

Despite my fatigue, I did have the pleasure of going with a friend to visit her mother in a nursing home for a few hours. She had purchased a gift basket from my shop for her mother that I specifically designed for the elderly, and we went together today to give it to her. She really loved it, and we had a blessed time! 

On my own I would not have been able to do it, but I knew the Lord would meet me in my weakness and be my strength. 

"But He [the Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I'm done for the day now though, and it's only 6pm. I plan to have dinner and then head back to bed. We'll see what tomorrow brings as I increase the dosing of the Parsely, Burber and Pinella. 

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 1

As I mentioned in my previous post, I decided to try the Cowden Support Program for my reoccurring Lyme Disease symptoms. I have been on numerous courses of antibiotics through the years, starting in 2016 when I was finally diagnosed after being sick for 2 years. Earlier this year I tried taking Doxycyline again for my symptoms but it really didn't help this time. I was only on a short, 2 week course whereas normally I would take it for a month. I'm thinking the short duration, coupled with the fact that I was not taking any bio-film or cyst busters with it, made it ineffective this time. There is also the possibility that I am immune to it by now, having taken it so many times before! It also caused a side effect I never had before such as intense head pressure, massive headaches and problems with my vision. So, I decided it was time to try an all herbal approach. 

My LLMD has had success with other patients, and even family members, so it sounds hopeful. If you've been around my blog for a while, you know where my ultimate source of hope comes from anyway - from the Lord. Should it be His will that this treatment plan work, I will be very happy! If not, then He has His plans for me, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:16). 

I'm not sure I'll blog about my experience everyday. I have been extremely tired these days, and using the computer too long seems to make it worse. I'm most interested in keeping record of my own spiritual growth during this time of trusting in God and seeing where this course of treatment takes me. I would also like to share the experience for others who might be wondering what it's like. So we'll see how the blogging it goes!

This sign is available for purchase in my shop!

The protocol itself seems a bit overwhelming when you look at it from beginning to end, so my Bible verse for this experience is going to be: "Do not worry about tomorrow" (Matthew 6:34). I'm going to remind myself each day to take one day at a time. I think the hardest part for me (out of the recommended dietary changes, the herbs and supplements schedule) is going to be drinking 100 ounces ( 3 liters) of water per day. I'm just not good with drinking tons of water, especially when it feels like a chore that I have to constantly remind myself to keep doing! Well, I'll do anything to feel better, so I'm giving it a go. It's too much to think about how I'll be able to do this for months and just focusing on today with the Lord's help makes it doable. At the moment, I have already had 68 ounces and it's only 2pm, so I'm doing well!

The program basically recommends eliminating all common food allergens: wheat, dairy, soy, corn, peanuts, black & white pepper and sugar. The pepper part threw me off. I never knew it was a "common allergen"! I have already been gluten, dairy and soy free for some time now, so this part shouldn't be a problem. I already mentioned the water, and then there are some other instructions for those taking other medications or antibiotics. It's a 9 month program in total, but they recommend doing it until you feel better, and then for 2 more months after that. 

That's about all for Day 1. If you're reading this and have been on the protocol, feel free to share your own experience! 

Hope in God

I have been blogging more recently over at my shop's website, Living Word Decor, but I wanted to share one of my latest posts here too for those who follow. I have really been struggling with my Lyme disease symptoms again and wrote this post to share my feelings on this latest relapse. I also recently made the decision to try the Cowden Support Program for treatment. I'd like to blog through my decision to try this program, and my experience with it, but we'll see how that goes. I will receive the first month's treatment package sometime this week so stay tuned! If you have experience with this protocol, please share!! 

Now, on to my blog post... 

This sign is available for purchase in my shop! 

During this particular season of life, I have been finding a lot of comfort in the Psalms. As someone who struggles with chronic illness (or rather, relapsing Lyme Disease), it's hard to accept the times when I'm not feeling well again. I have learned so much about the Lord in each new valley that I'm confident to walk by faith knowing that He is the strength in my weakness, that suffering produces perseverance, character and hope, and all things work together for good! (2 Corinthians 5:7; 12:7, Romans 5:3-5; 8:28).

When I'm dealing with a relapse and my immune system is in overdrive, I'm tempted to look around for help. A specialist, medicine, diet changes, etc. Yes, these things help sometimes, but not always, and I have to be careful where I put my hope. Maybe that sounds familiar? We place our hope in things that can disappoint and miss the blessings that come from waiting on the Lord (see Isaiah 40:31). If you're like me, it might be tempting to take control. We can only do what we can, and the rest is in God's hands. Sometimes I can't do a thing to get out of my situation, and that's when I'm reminded to find my comfort in knowing that God is in control. Nothing comes our way that has not first been filtered through His sovereign hands, and often times in the battle is right where He wants us, in the refiner's fire.

One particular Psalm that has really spoken to me recently, and has been coming up time and again through devotionals and sermons, is this:

"Why are you in despair, oh my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence" (Psalm 43:5)

Maybe you're going through a trial right now, whether it's an illness, financial, job related or something else, and it's bringing you down. I pray this encourages you to hope in God! Remember His faithfulness in the past and believe He will be faithful again to carry you through. Because of Jesus, we can all walk in victory above our circumstances as He walks with us through them. Lord help us to always look up, knowing that is where our true help and hope comes from for both body and soul!

Full Circle

Since my last post on the New Year, I have actually been sick again. Hasn't this been a pattern in my life the past 6 years? I go back through my posts here and I see a theme where I'm not feeling well, and all of the work God does in my life through it.  I hope to once again find encouragement in that, as I have been a little overwhelmed with discouragement this time. 

It started in the beginning of February with a routine cold/flu-like virus, from which I never fully recovered. I went on to feel quite ill with a variety of symptoms, including a daily fever, for almost 2 months. Once again I went through the gamut of blood work and testing, only to find "nothing wrong".  It was considered to possibly be a relapse of Lyme Disease so I went on another course of antibiotics. I can't say that helped much this time, but eventually, as of today, I do feel better - finally, and thank God! However, I have been dealing with vertigo and feeling off balance again. I will admit, that is my worst nightmare! What I went through with that, as you can read through past posts, I never wanted to deal with again. We shall see what becomes of it.

In the meantime, I was asked recently to speak at a women's group and to share a testimony of God's work in my life. As God would have it, He laid it on my heart to share about the time in my life 6 years ago where I was faced with an unknown illness that brought me through 2 years of uncertainty regarding my health and a whole lot of spiritual healing. I have a blog entry devoted to all of the work He did in my life during that time, and that is what I shared with the group. You can find that post here.  I had never shared before and didn't feel equipped to do it. I struggled with the idea and even wished I wasn't chosen to speak. I'm just not good at public speaking, and very insecure as to feeling as if I have anything to share! That's funny considering I share a lot here! This is behind a screen though, and not actually putting myself out there. I was thinking one morning, what if what I share doesn't mean anything to anyone and I just make a fool of myself? After all, it's God's work in MY life, and perhaps they could not relate. The morning I was to speak, my devotional read:

"If you are strong or gifted enough to accomplish a task, what room is there for God to work? If you can personally guarantee a successful conclusion to the assignment you face, what need is there for faith? That is why God will challenge you beyond what you can handle. It is only when you cannot manage your circumstances that you acknowledge God's hand. Any success you achieve is from God. Of course no one likes to relinquish control, but that is what it takes to see his astounding work in your life. Are you committed to following Him no matter what it takes?" 

That reading was extremely encouraging to me, and it gave me the assurance that God was telling me not to worry about the outcome, but to share out of obedience and leave the results up to Him. I did end up speaking because I also knew that if God put me on our group leader's heart to share, then God wanted me to do it, and I would be able to in His strength. After I shared, I got positive feedback that it was a  blessing. Some of the women were struggling with things in their own lives that I shared, and they said it was a real encouragement. My story is His story, and all glory goes to Him!

So, here I am, full circle from an illness that God used as a testimony of His work in my life to share with a women's group and encourage others, to being sick again with the same dizzy symptoms that started it all the first time. I'll admit that I'm struggling to find contentment in this circumstance (Philippians 4:11), but I know now that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (v13). 

Happy New Year - 2019

I can't believe I haven't posted an update here since July of last year. I guess it's because I've shifted my focus to blogging on my website, Living Word Decor, although I haven't shared anything as personal as I've shared here. I still enjoy having this blog and all of my previous posts out there for those who are meant to find, and be encouraged by, them. For those who are wondering about my Lyme's Disease journey, I am currently in good health in that regard, although dealing with some residual stomach issues due to all of the antibiotics I have taken. 

This is what I recently shared on my shop's blog page for the New Year... 

Another year is upon us, and the time has come for resolutions. I don't personally make them myself, but I used to. The only one I ever stuck to was reading through the Bible in year, and even then I was playing catch-up from the days that I missed. Looking ahead is something everyone does this time of year, but I like to start by looking back.

I like to keep journals of God's work in my life each year and, looking back to the beginning of 2018, I came across a devotional I saved from January 7th. It was entitled "For the Right Moment", and it was about God's work in our lives to prepare us for His perfect timing to send us into the work He has planned for us. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10). I had decided that this would be my only expectation for this year, to wait and see what He had planned, even on the days it felt like nothing was happening at all. I had my own ideas of what I wanted to accomplish, but in typical God fashion, what I ended up involved in were things I never could have imagined on my own.

For one thing, I started my own website! I never imagined leaving Etsy and stepping out in faith to create my own online store, but here it is! That is a story in itself. I learned a lot about the real definition of success as this first year on my own brought less exposure resulting in fewer sales compared to last year. The Lord had to remind me of why I started this business. It was never about sales, but to impact others' lives for Him. He showed me that I was walking in obedience to His will by leaving Etsy, and the results were up to Him. He also used a Christian blogger to teach me that real success is not defined by the world's standards. I'll never forget her saying, "If only one person follows me or reads this post and their life is touched by Jesus, then that is Godly success because that touched life is precious to God and will go on to impact others for Him". So true! Then there were the lives of people I will never forget, like my grandma's friend Sarah and a man I met at a nursing home named Jim, who I never imagined God would give me the privilege of sharing His love with. I could write a book about my experiences with them, and how my life and faith were changed by being a part of their story. This was also the first full year without my mother and grandmother, who both passed away last year less than 2 months apart. Much like the one set of "footprints in the sand", God carried me through those first anniversaries of their passing, first birthdays being gone, and the bittersweet sale of our childhood home.

As you reflect back on 2018, I hope you see God's hand in all of your own highs, lows and everything in between. If you are the type to make resolutions with a heart full of hopes, dreams and expectations for the New Year, as you look ahead remember if things don't go as planned that there is one who is "the same yesterday, today and forever"... Jesus Christ (Hebrews 13:8)! He doesn't change at the start of every new year, and He doesn't fail like a resolution by February 1st. He has plans for you that are far better than anything you could have planned for yourself, and your hope and trust in Him will never disappoint. Look to Him this new year. He is the one who is seated on the throne and truly makes "all things new" (Revelation 21:5).

The one thing I do want for this upcoming year is what I always want, and it's from the book of Colossians. I pray this year, and always, that I "may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that I will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience" (Colossians 1:9-11). I pray this for you too!

I wish everyone a Happy and blessed New Year! I look forward to what God has planned for my life this coming year, and for Living Word Decor. Thank you so much for your support of my shop, and God bless!

What's new

I thought I would share a bit about what has been going on since my last post. (I feel like all of my posts start out this way!) 

First, I have to shamefully admit that I completely forgot what I had written about in my last post, titled Faithful and True. Wow, did I ever need to read that! That's why I'm so glad the Lord puts in on my heart to write things down. Looking back over His past faithfulness is a real encouragement. I forgot all about the devotionals on Mary, Martha, serving and finding rest I had been reading during a time of much serving and uncertainty. Thinking about that time brings back great memories of God's presence and comfort in a difficult time of serving, searching and waiting.

I'm sad to report that my grandma's friend I had been caring for passed away. There's so much to tell about that experience, that I may feel led to share one day. I will say that on the night she passed away, her roommate sang Amazing Grace and I joined in, not knowing how fitting that moment would be for the last time I would see her alive. I got a call around 12:30 that morning that she had passed peacefully in her sleep. All of my worries, concerns and questions from my last post about her post-cancer treatment care were whisked away the moment she passed on to eternal life. That was God's answer, she was going to be in His care, and I wouldn't have to worry about her anymore.  I have to say that my faith grew a lot during this time of caring for her, being faced with so many uncertainties about how things would all work out. I stood firm in my faith in the wake of people trying to cause me anxiety and pressure me for answers to questions I couldn't possibly answer about her after-care and more. I knew God would work it all out, regardless of how, and He did. Even if she had lived, I know for 100% certainly, He would have provided. His hand and His very presence were upon this entire experience, and I will never forget it.

After her death, I spent my time in grief and planning for her burial services. Yes, God even worked out and provided for all that was required, including the finances, regarding that. We serve a God who cares about every detail.  When all of that was settled, I turned my attention to my online business and decided it was time to close my Etsy shop and open my own website.

Building your own website takes a lot more time than I thought! I mean, I didn't expect to just have it done, up and running in a day, but there's so many details and things to consider. I'm fortunate to have had help, and I'm happy to say that things went very smoothly. You can find it here: LivingWordDecor.com  I hope you'll take a look around and find something that encourages you, and touches your soul!

As for what's next, I'm not sure, but God knows. The waiting and not knowing is the hardest part. In recent days I've been struggling with what's my purpose, but God has made it abundantly clear though His word, devotionals and other people that I have a purpose. I suspect right now my purpose is to seek and find my contentment in Him, rather than in what He may call me to do next. This is my struggle. Until my next post, I pray whoever reads this is blessed, encouraged and pointed to God who deserves the glory!