Cowden Support Program, Take Two!

It has occurred to me for a while now that I never updated my blog as to where I'm at regarding the Cowden Support Program. As of my last post, I had stopped all the medication and was feeling better. My morning dizziness did continue until a day I believed the Lord healed me. I can't fully explain it, but after a night of crying out to the Lord for healing and waking up with an overwhelming sense of peace, I got up and the dizziness was gone and has not returned. I should note that this is different from my day to day feeling "off". This was the sensation of the room moving a bit upon first sitting up in the morning. It was not true vertigo, but rather a sensation I cannot fully explain. All I know is that is plagued me for a long, long time until it abruptly stopped. I thank the Lord for His healing! 

After a period of time off of the Cowden Support Program and feeling better as far as the head pain, pressure and dizziness I was experiencing, my Lyme symptoms returned. I decided to start the program again, but this time I took it much, much, much slower.  I did not follow their recommendation of increasing the dose of each herb daily, but rather took my time and listened to my body. I also decided to only increase one herb at a time so I could determine which ones were causing issues. I have to say that my handled it much better this time doing it this way, and I believe I'm at the right dose for my body with each herb. I am currently on Day 83 and my Lyme symptoms have been much better again. I still struggle with fatigue, but I'm living life normally and am thankful. I can't say I feel 100%, but I will take any improvements. I continue to walk by faith and pray that a few more months on this protocol will do the trick. 

I recently incorporated new herbs, Mora and Cumandra. I have to say that these two are powerful so I'm once again taking my time with them even though you don't take them for long on the protocol. At this point, I don't care if I don't reach 30 drops right away; I care more about making this tolerable so I can be in it for the long haul. 

That's about it for the update. I don't plan to blog about my experience this time, but if anyone reading this has any questions or comments, please don't hesitate to reach out!

Cowden Support Program: Month 2, Days 46-51

If you read my last post, then you know that I had been feeling quite sick after a period of feeling better. Well, the horrible head pain, pressure and dizziness continued all this week too. It's so hard to fully explain how I have been feeling, almost like my brain is swelling inside my head. Every morning it's difficult to get up. When I first stand, I get really dizzy. I have to hold on to my dresser and wait for it to pass. After that, I seem to be okay as far as being dizzy, but I have been left with constant head pain and pressure. 

After speaking with someone who is knowledgeable with the Cowden Support Program this past week, I decided to decrease my dose of all the antimicrobials (Samento, Banderol, Takuna and Stevia) by half. I decreased the detox herbs (Burbur/Pinella, Parsley and Sparga) by 25%.  He told me that not everyone can handle the full dose and you have to do what is right for your own body. After doing that for several days with no relief, I decided it was time to make a decision about my treatment. I know people say this kind of feeling can be a herx, or healing reaction, but my gut has been telling me otherwise. It just doesn't feel like a typical herx, although I guess I can't know for sure. 

I have been praying about it, asking the Lord for wisdom as to what to do. I seriously considered stopping the medication just to see if I would get better. There is a Bible verse in the book of James that speaks to asking the Lord for wisdom when you go through trials, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you" (James 1:5).  Well, I have been seeking this wisdom with others praying for me as well, and I feel I got confirmation from the Lord last night to try stopping the medication to see if I improve. 

So, as of today I am no longer on the Cowden Support Program. Yesterday was my last day taking my modified doses. I will take a break to see if I feel better. If I do improve, then I won't be resuming with the protocol. I didn't take any herbals today and I have to say that my head felt better today than it has in weeks! It was encouraging, but we'll see how I feel when I try to get up tomorrow morning. I'll see if I feel dizzy as usual. If so, perhaps it will take a few days or longer for my body to adjust to not taking the herbals anymore, but I'm going to give it a go. To be continued!

Cowden Support Program: Month 2, Days 38-45

This past week has been a huge set back for me, or at least it has felt that way. I'm not sure why but I had a terrible week of extreme fatigue and dizziness. When my Lyme symptoms all started 5 years ago (before I knew what was wrong), my main symptoms were neurological in nature and that seems to be the most prominent this week. I've been having some vertigo, an all day off balance feeling, horrible head pressure and the inability to think straight. The weather has been extremely hot and humid though with low pressure, and the pressure always seems to affect my head, so who knows. Maybe it's a herx? It's anyone's guess I suppose. Taking Sealantro, which I've had trouble with from the beginning, made things 10x worse so I stopped taking it this week. I'm not sure I'll even add it back in but we'll see. 

I have continued to walk by faith, trusting the Lord to help me each day but it's getting discouraging. I know I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and crying out to Jesus for help. I can't buy into the lie that it will always be this way or I'll never feel better. It may seem that way right now, but it was not true in the past and is not true now. So, I'll keep forging ahead in prayer and will check back in again next week.

Cowden Support Program: Month 2, Days 31-37

Here I am one week after I posted my first month recap and I'm still feeling fairy well. I actually had a long week of volunteering for VBS (Vacation Bible School) at my church and I'm praising God that I felt well enough to participate. I rested during the day when I could (VBS was at night), but it was a pretty hectic and fast paced week. I was asked to help the kids make crafts to bring to a nursing home. It was a lot of fun and a really blessed time. 

However, today, Day 37, I am back to feeling that old familiar comatose tired feeling!! I'm hoping that a full day of rest will get me back on track. I know in the past anytime I have served, I have always had a set back in my health, but it doesn't stop me. The Lord gets me through what I need to do in His strength (2 Corinthians 12:9), and I know He has His purpose and plan for why it always seems to set me back when it's over. 

I haven't had any other symptoms this week other than the fatigue, so overall I feel I'm doing pretty well! 

Cowden Support Program: Month One (1) Recap

I can't believe it's Day 30 on the program. This is my monthly recap. 

The first two weeks on the program, I honestly felt like I was dying. I felt much worse and was a bit fearful. I know enough of treating Lyme to know that you do feel worse before getting better, so I remained hopeful, stayed in prayer, and kept forging ahead. (I did realize a few days into the program that I was accidentally taking a double dose of Burbur-Pinella, and taking Sealantro every night instead of every other night. When I corrected these errors, I didn't feel nearly as bad, but still pretty darn awful). After about two weeks of a seemingly non-stop herx, I finally started having some more normal days. Not to the point where I felt a whole lot better, just not deathly! Every day felt like a roller coaster though with highs and lows. I was pretty much extremely tired throughout the whole month which varied between feeling like I was drugged, to the typical Lyme exhaustion. There were days where I felt it was affecting my mental health too. I would feel angry or like I wanted to cry for no apparent reason. It honestly felt as though my mind were taken over by something. I just sought the Lord through prayer and His promises from the Bible and reminded myself that these feelings were not based on reality, and I got through it.  I did take Alka Seltzer a few times to help with the herxing, but other than that, I didn't do anything extra to detox. 

I had to increase my dosage a bit slower than recommended, even staying on the same dose for a few days here and there. I am currently on the full dose of everything, except for Sealantro. I had the most trouble with Sealantro, the metal detox. You take this herbal every other evening and at first I tried the full dose as recommended, which is 40 drops. I could NOT handle that. I kept waking up with a massive headache and my head feeling like it was filled with helium. I literally could not function. I knew it was from the Sealantro because that would only happen to me on the days after I took it. I decided to decrease my dose down to 20 and work my way up from there. I am currently at 25 drops and so far I seem to be tolerating it better.

I followed the diet almost completely. I have not eaten any gluten, dairy, soy, corn or peanuts as recommended. However, although I'm not adding pepper (which is also excluded on the plan) to anything anymore and avoid it when I can, I don't stress over things that do contain it like my organic salad dressings or condiments. I am also avoiding added sugar as recommended except for the few occasions where I had some maple syrup, and whatever small amount is in the organic ketchup I use. For the most part I have kept up with drinking 100 ounces of water every day. But there have been a handful of days where I only made it to around 86-96 ounces. I am not going to stress over it. I am a small person so maybe a little less here and there is okay for me. I personally live my life walking by faith and by the strength of and trust in the Lord's promises to help me. I fully believe I can still overcome this illness through the protocol, if it is the Lord's will, having had some pepper, maple syrup and a little less water here and there. The Lord is in control. If He tells me to do otherwise, then I will make the necessary changes! 

As I conclude the recap of my first month with all of the above considered, I would say that I definitely see an improvement, and I am so thankful. I had some days this last week where I had more energy than I knew what to do with! I was rejoicing!! The past day or so though, I was back to feeling quite tired, but such is the nature of the beast called Lyme! My fevers, muscle twitching and pins & needles are completely gone. My fatigue and off balance feeling remain the most prominent symptoms, while my POTS, chills and joint pain have significantly decreased. When I started this protocol I felt a horrible 10/10, but today I would say that most days I feel around a 7.5-8/10. I know this may not seem major, but it's only the first month and it's a big deal to me. I feel as though I'm moving in the right direction after feeling so horrid for so long, and I look forward to month 2! 

From here on out I think I will do weekly posts rather than daily or every few days. If anything significant happens, I will share sooner. If you're reading this and have gone through the program, or are planning to start, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Cowden Support Program: Days 22-26, and dealing with burdens!

I'm thinking maybe I should do these blog posts more frequently, as I can't really remember the exact details of how I was feeling from day to day when I wait so long.  We'll see. The end of my first month on the program is coming up and I plan to do a summary so I'll probably wait to blog again for that.

I do know that I've had my typical highs and lows from day to day, with fatigue and feeling "off" in my head being the worst of the lingering symptoms. There was a day where my chills came back for a while, and also some joint pain. Yesterday, Day 25, was a day where I had the most energy I can remember in a really long time. I was so thankful to the Lord! I would say that day was a 7/10 for fatigue and feeling like garbage, rather than an 11/10 when I first started the program! I was able to go for two walks, do my Pilates, clean my house and go grocery shopping. I did take my usual nap, but I noticed I haven't been feeling comatose tired lately, just really tired. Yes, there's a difference to me! The comatose tired made me feel like I was drugged. There were also a few days over the past several where I felt my mind was being affected. This has happened before, I'm just not sure if I mentioned it. It's like I get angry or want to cry for no reason at all! It definitely feels like something is altering my mind and I remind myself that I am not a slave to those feelings that have no basis in reality! I get into prayer and the word of God and speak His promises, and that always helps me feel better. 

I posted something on my shop's Facebook page recently that I wanted to share here. It has to do with giving our burdens to God. His word says: "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22). I wrote a brief post elaborating on this verse and I hope you find it encouraging, as it encouraged me! I have the sign pictured below for sale in my shop, Living Word Decor. 

Is there a burden you need to give to the Lord? In the original language this verse can literally read: Throw your burden upon the one true eternal God and He will nourish, protect and defend you, and cause you to endure. 

So, throw the weight of what you're carrying off of your shoulders and onto the One who wants to carry them for you, then rest in His sweet peace and provision!

Cowden Support Program: Days 18, 19 & 21

If you're wondering what happened to Day 20, I skipped it. Well, technically I should be on Day 21 so I didn't really skip Day 20. If you've been following my journey so far, you know a while back I said I "repeated" a day, but looking back I now consider that just increasing my dosage slower. I don't want to be behind even a day in case it causes me to run out of any herbals. As of yesterday I am on the full dose of all herbals all day, so moving forward a day doesn't mess up anything. I hope this explanation makes sense!

The past few days have been the usual fatigue and an increase in my dizzy/spaciness. I think this is because I'm now getting hit with the full dose of all herbals consistently since the night before last. As of the evening of Day 18, Tuesday, I am at the maximum 30 drops of all antimicrobials and 10 drops of the detoxes. I was nauseous yesterday afternoon and into the early evening, and I do feel that way again today so far. I wonder if it's from the high dose of herbals, or herxing? I'm still going strong with my water intake, but there have been days here and there (2-3) where I only made it to around 90 ounces, but I am not stressing over it. That would be worse for me than not getting enough water! 

I'm not sure if I have posted this yet or not, but I noticed that I no longer have the chills and my joint pain is A LOT less frequent. My POTS symptoms have slightly improvement, although they wax and wane. The two main symptoms that are still really affecting me are the fatigue and the dizzy/spacey/off balance feeling. I hate it, it's like my mind is stuck behind a brick wall of fog that I just cannot break through. I'm not sure how else to explain it, but I'm sure my fellow Lyme sufferers will understand. 

I think I'm going to start doing weekly recaps instead of daily, or every few days. We'll see how it goes. I'm off to take a nap now!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Days 15, 16 & 17

Saturday, Day 15, was an awesome and supernatural day. I'm just so thankful to the Lord for all I was able to do. I had decreased my dose of Sealantro the night before to half, so I only took 20 drops instead of 40. I did wake up feeling quite dizzy with a slight headache, but I was determined to persevere through it. We ended up buying new shrubs and flowers for our yard and I wanted to do yard work so I spent the whole day digging, planting, weeding and watering. I didn't even consider taking a nap! I was out in the sun too, which is hard for me. I can't say I didn't struggle with fatigue and my POTS symptoms from all the bending down and standing up, but I did it. Not only that, but after a shower and some dinner, my husband and I did some painting. We followed a tutorial on Youtube and made these cute "cat in a window" signs. My finished painting is shown below. I was up an hour past my usual bedtime, and this without a nap during the day! I went to bed praising God and just so thankful for His faithfulness to His promises to be the strength in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8-10), and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13)!

Sunday, Day 16, was not as energetic a day as the day before. I was worried I had overdone it on Saturday, but the fatigue I felt on Sunday didn't feel that way. It was the usual fatigue, the I need to rest A LOT type of a feeling I've been going through. Sundays are my rest days anyway so we went to church and then I took a long nap. I didn't do anything except relax and it felt good.

Today is Day 17. I took a half dose of Sealantro again last night, 20 drops instead of 40, and I have that familiar groggy feeling with slight headache. I guess I will slowly increase those drops but I'm honestly not looking forward to it. That stuff hits me hard.

The symptom I hate the most, which is my dizziness, off balance and vertigo, is the one that seems to be the most prominent going through this treatment. It's really affecting my head a lot. I just continue to hope that's a sign of healing! 

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Days 12, 13 & 14

I missed a few days of blogging so I'll do my best to recap the past few days. 

I know Day 12 wasn't too bad for me. I was still tired but managed to get a bunch of house work done. I had been wanting to deep clean my floors and I got two rooms done! That was an accomplishment for me given my current situation. It wore me out though so I did take a nap, but was okay the rest of the day. 

Yesterday, Day 13, was a different story. Because I had to take the dreaded Sealantro the night before, as predicted I woke up feeling awful with a headache. I felt as though I hadn't even slept all night and really dragged through the day. (But I did get the floors in my hallway done, yay!) I ended up taking Alka-Seltzer (which is recommended for a herx reaction) and a really long nap. I woke up feeling better, but not great. Although I will say that instead of feeling 10/10 bad, I felt about 8.5-9/10 bad, so that was an improvement!! A small one, but I'll take it. I did go to our church service last night and we continue to pray for my healing. 

Today is Day 14 and I feel better than yesterday, but still quite tired. I noticed my chills have been gone, and my joint pain has not been as bad, so I'm hoping that's progress. In the meantime, I'm still feeling off balance and a bit spacey/dizzy. 

I forced myself to start exercising again a few days ago. I walk my dog every day, but I also like to do Pilates. It's nothing strenuous but it gets me moving and keeps me healthy and in shape. I'm starting out with 10 minute videos. It's hard to get through, but I'm always glad I did it when I'm done. I guess the bonus is that sweating is releasing toxins! I don't normally sweat during my Pilates workouts when I'm healthy, but even a 10 minute video is taking a lot out of me right now.

I just ordered Month 2 of the program, so I'm in this for the long haul!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 11

Today was a day like Sunday where I just slept all day long again! I'm starting to think there's a connection between taking the Sealantro and feeling really awful the next day. That is the herb you take every other evening. I'll see what happens on Thursday since I'm due to take it again tomorrow night. 

I have to say, I don't ever remember feeling this awful on antibiotic treatment. I had my days where I felt bad, but I had a lot of days in between where I felt okay. This time around I seem to feel awful every day, just extra awful some days! It's really affecting my head A LOT and I don't like it. I feel so out of it, off balance, dizzy and foggy/space headed.  I'm really down about it today and it's only Day 11! I hope this means the herbals are working and not that I'm just getting worse. I'm praying for some relief tomorrow, and that God show me I'm on the right path. I will continue to walk through this by faith, but I can use prayers for encouragement!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Days 9 & 10

Yesterday, Day 9, was one of those days that I just slept all - day - long! Thankfully our church service gets live streamed over Facebook so I did get to watch from home, although I admit to falling in and out of sleep during the teaching. I also made it through dinner with my father-in law for Father's day. I honestly wanted to cry at the thought of actually getting out of bed, but I did it. It was one of those walk by faith God moments. Truly He is the strength in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Today is Day 10 and I'm not nearly as tired as yesterday, but I will be taking my nap after lunch in just a bit! As far as the herbals go, the dosing of everything keeps increasing on a daily basis and I'm still going strong with the water intake. Although yesterday I don't believe I met my goal of 3 liters because I slept too much, but I'm not going to stress about it.  Should anything develop the rest of the day, I will put it in my post for tomorrow.

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 8

If you read yesterday's post, then you know that I realized I was accidentally taking a double dose of Burber & Pinella. Well, I also realized I was taking the Sealantro, which I believe is the metal detox, every evening instead of every other evening. Ugh, Lyme brain!!  I honestly don't know how I made that mistake, but I do believe these two oversights were the cause of how horrible I felt a few days ago. I mean, I have felt downright awful from Lyme and past treatments, but this was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was ready to go to the Urgent Care! Since getting on the proper dosing schedule, that feeling is gone and has not returned, thankfully!!  I will say that yesterday was a better day than today. I was SO tired again all day, with chills and dizziness. I persevered though. 

One last comment for the day. If you've been on the program, or have ever tried Stevia or Sealantro, then you know how awful the taste of these two herbs can be. I'm not even on 1/4 of the dose I need to work my way up to and it's getting hard to endure!  It makes me shudder, but you have to do what you have to do. That's it for today!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 7

I ended up repeating Day 6 yesterday because I really struggled with some major symptoms the night before last, and all day yesterday. I didn't want to increase my dosing until I felt better. My main issue really was (and is) feeling off balance and dizziness. It was so bad yesterday, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I can't fully explain it, but my head just felt so strange and full of pressure. It felt difficult to breath (not in a shortness of breath kind of way, but a heaviness I can't explain), and my limbs felt like I was moving through quicksand. It worried me and I started questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing with this protocol. 

I decided to sit back, relax and listen to some comforting scriptures on Youtube. I laid back on my recliner, curled up under a blanket with two of my cats on top of me and fell asleep to the sounds of the only thing that brings real encouragement to me - the word of God! I have to say that when I woke up, I did feel better! I was not feeling 100%, but much better than I was before. I'm going to share a link to the video I listened to here for those who would like to check it out. I highly encourage listening, especially if you feel anxious stressed. 

One other thing I discovered yesterday is that I was accidentally taking a double dose of Burber and Pinella! This can very well be the reason my head felt like a hot air balloon that was going to explode, and I felt like I couldn't walk or even see straight! After a good night's sleep and the correct dose, I don't feel nearly as off as I did yesterday.  

I hope you will take a listen to the video I included in this post. I pray it blesses you with peace and comfort as it did me!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Days 5 & 6, and VBS!

I forgot to blog yesterday, so I'm catching up now on the last two days. I don't have a whole lot to report. Every day the dose of each herbal medicines increase and I seem to be handling that okay for the most part. I slept a lot yesterday and felt a bit sick to my stomach, but that's better today. Although I'm still really tired, and I kind of feel like I'm coming down with something. I have some sinus pressure and sneezing, so we'll see what happens. I just took a hot shower and that makes me feel much worse. I have read about this phenomenon happening to others with Lyme too, so I guess it's normal. My LLMD mentioned once that spirochetes don't like heat and it must be true because I feel worse after being in the sun as well. 

On a separate note, I have a God story to share! I recently went with a friend to visit her mother in a nursing home. I really have a heart for the elderly and enjoy visiting with them. We brought her one of the "Senior Gift Baskets" from my online shop, and she loved it. I posted on my shop's Facebook page what we were doing, and I included a picture of the basket. One of the ladies from my church who runs VBS (Vacation Bible School) saw it and asked if I would help the kids make baskets for the local nursing homes this year! 

I was excited and nervous at the same time about the opportunity. I've never done anything like this before, but I had been praying for the Lord to show me in what areas I can serve using my God-given gifts and talents, and this came up! I know it is what He wants me to do, especially since I feel unequipped to do it. Isn't that just like God? He asks us to do what we feel we cannot do, and when we do it by faith, trust and in His strength, He gets the glory! I'm looking forward to seeing how it all turns out. I'm not sure how I'll feel physically, but I am leaving that in the Lord's hands too. Please pray for me and for this event!

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 4

Today was a doozie! In addition to the Parsley and Burbur/Pinella, I had to add the following: Banderol, Samento, Takuna, Sparga, Stevia and Magnesium and Serrapeptase (which are capsules). I'm supposed to add 40 drops of Sealantro before bed for the first time too. I will definitely be starting at a lower dose.  

As for how I'm feeling, I definitely felt strange after drinking my doses for the day, and I noticed my chills and overall feeling of "blah" increased. I felt really clammy, kind of sick to my stomach and the usual extreme fatigue, but I'm hoping these are signs of things working already!  I didn't take the full doses of Parsley and Sparga yet, but I'm working my way up.

From the way it looks on the treatment calendar, these liquid herbs and supplements will be the same every day, but with increasing doses, for at least the rest of the month, if not longer. 

I'm doing really well with my water in take, surprisingly. I thought that would be the hardest part. I really didn't use the bathroom as much as I thought I would the first day so maybe I was a bit dehydrated. However, since that day I practically live in there, which is kind of annoying but, it is what it is!  I lay out six 16.9 once water bottles every morning so I have a visual of all I need to drink. So far this system has worked really well.

If you're on the program, or have been and are reading this, please feel free to share any input or tips! 

Cowden Support Program, Month 1, Day 3

I almost forgot to blog today! I know I said I might not blog every day, but since I remembered and feel up to it, I figured why not.

Today I increased my dose of Parsley to either 6-7 drops (I can't remember!) and I did feel it in my head again. This herb definitely makes me spacey and I'm hoping my body adjusts to it soon. I increased the Burbur/Pinella to 8 drops and seem to be okay with those for now.  Tomorrow starts the treatment other than these detox herbs. I will be starting some of the herbal antimicrobials and one of the supplements. I forget exactly which ones, but I'll post about it tomorrow. 

I was extremely exhausted again today, but I managed to go to church and stay for a meeting after. I pretty much relaxed the rest of the day, and had another nice, long nap. That's about it for today! 

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 2

I made it through my full first day of the Cowden Support Program, and am almost done with Day 2. I'm happy to say that I did reach the recommended goal of drinking the 100 ounces of water, and I'm almost at that goal today as well. 

The first three days of the program have you drinking Parsley and Burber/Pinella. I have been on Burber/Pinella in the past, but this was my first experience with Parsley. The recommended dose to start is 10 drops in 4 ounces of water, but knowing from past experience (and advice from my LLMD!) it's best to start lower and work your way up, I started out with 5 drops of each. I have to say that my head felt extremely spacey after drinking the Parsley the first day. The feeling wore off after a few hours, but it was really uncomfortable. I was fine with the Burber/Pinella. Today I did not seem to have the same reaction, but I stayed at the 5 drops just to be sure. I will increase tomorrow and see how it goes. 

Today my fatigue was really bad! It was one of those days where I just felt like a complete zombie. As a matter of fact, I just woke up from a several hour "nap". I did my best to stay productive today, but I hit my wall and had to rest. I feel a little better now and just took my dose of Parsley before dinner. 

Available for purchase in my shop! 

Despite my fatigue, I did have the pleasure of going with a friend to visit her mother in a nursing home for a few hours. She had purchased a gift basket from my shop for her mother that I specifically designed for the elderly, and we went together today to give it to her. She really loved it, and we had a blessed time! 

On my own I would not have been able to do it, but I knew the Lord would meet me in my weakness and be my strength. 

"But He [the Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I'm done for the day now though, and it's only 6pm. I plan to have dinner and then head back to bed. We'll see what tomorrow brings as I increase the dosing of the Parsely, Burber and Pinella. 

Cowden Support Program: Month 1, Day 1

As I mentioned in my previous post, I decided to try the Cowden Support Program for my reoccurring Lyme Disease symptoms. I have been on numerous courses of antibiotics through the years, starting in 2016 when I was finally diagnosed after being sick for 2 years. Earlier this year I tried taking Doxycyline again for my symptoms but it really didn't help this time. I was only on a short, 2 week course whereas normally I would take it for a month. I'm thinking the short duration, coupled with the fact that I was not taking any bio-film or cyst busters with it, made it ineffective this time. There is also the possibility that I am immune to it by now, having taken it so many times before! It also caused a side effect I never had before such as intense head pressure, massive headaches and problems with my vision. So, I decided it was time to try an all herbal approach. 

My LLMD has had success with other patients, and even family members, so it sounds hopeful. If you've been around my blog for a while, you know where my ultimate source of hope comes from anyway - from the Lord. Should it be His will that this treatment plan work, I will be very happy! If not, then He has His plans for me, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:16). 

I'm not sure I'll blog about my experience everyday. I have been extremely tired these days, and using the computer too long seems to make it worse. I'm most interested in keeping record of my own spiritual growth during this time of trusting in God and seeing where this course of treatment takes me. I would also like to share the experience for others who might be wondering what it's like. So we'll see how the blogging it goes!

This sign is available for purchase in my shop!

The protocol itself seems a bit overwhelming when you look at it from beginning to end, so my Bible verse for this experience is going to be: "Do not worry about tomorrow" (Matthew 6:34). I'm going to remind myself each day to take one day at a time. I think the hardest part for me (out of the recommended dietary changes, the herbs and supplements schedule) is going to be drinking 100 ounces ( 3 liters) of water per day. I'm just not good with drinking tons of water, especially when it feels like a chore that I have to constantly remind myself to keep doing! Well, I'll do anything to feel better, so I'm giving it a go. It's too much to think about how I'll be able to do this for months and just focusing on today with the Lord's help makes it doable. At the moment, I have already had 68 ounces and it's only 2pm, so I'm doing well!

The program basically recommends eliminating all common food allergens: wheat, dairy, soy, corn, peanuts, black & white pepper and sugar. The pepper part threw me off. I never knew it was a "common allergen"! I have already been gluten, dairy and soy free for some time now, so this part shouldn't be a problem. I already mentioned the water, and then there are some other instructions for those taking other medications or antibiotics. It's a 9 month program in total, but they recommend doing it until you feel better, and then for 2 more months after that. 

That's about all for Day 1. If you're reading this and have been on the protocol, feel free to share your own experience! 

Hope in God

I have been blogging more recently over at my shop's website, Living Word Decor, but I wanted to share one of my latest posts here too for those who follow. I have really been struggling with my Lyme disease symptoms again and wrote this post to share my feelings on this latest relapse. I also recently made the decision to try the Cowden Support Program for treatment. I'd like to blog through my decision to try this program, and my experience with it, but we'll see how that goes. I will receive the first month's treatment package sometime this week so stay tuned! If you have experience with this protocol, please share!! 

Now, on to my blog post... 

This sign is available for purchase in my shop! 

During this particular season of life, I have been finding a lot of comfort in the Psalms. As someone who struggles with chronic illness (or rather, relapsing Lyme Disease), it's hard to accept the times when I'm not feeling well again. I have learned so much about the Lord in each new valley that I'm confident to walk by faith knowing that He is the strength in my weakness, that suffering produces perseverance, character and hope, and all things work together for good! (2 Corinthians 5:7; 12:7, Romans 5:3-5; 8:28).

When I'm dealing with a relapse and my immune system is in overdrive, I'm tempted to look around for help. A specialist, medicine, diet changes, etc. Yes, these things help sometimes, but not always, and I have to be careful where I put my hope. Maybe that sounds familiar? We place our hope in things that can disappoint and miss the blessings that come from waiting on the Lord (see Isaiah 40:31). If you're like me, it might be tempting to take control. We can only do what we can, and the rest is in God's hands. Sometimes I can't do a thing to get out of my situation, and that's when I'm reminded to find my comfort in knowing that God is in control. Nothing comes our way that has not first been filtered through His sovereign hands, and often times in the battle is right where He wants us, in the refiner's fire.

One particular Psalm that has really spoken to me recently, and has been coming up time and again through devotionals and sermons, is this:

"Why are you in despair, oh my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence" (Psalm 43:5)

Maybe you're going through a trial right now, whether it's an illness, financial, job related or something else, and it's bringing you down. I pray this encourages you to hope in God! Remember His faithfulness in the past and believe He will be faithful again to carry you through. Because of Jesus, we can all walk in victory above our circumstances as He walks with us through them. Lord help us to always look up, knowing that is where our true help and hope comes from for both body and soul!

Full Circle

Since my last post on the New Year, I have actually been sick again. Hasn't this been a pattern in my life the past 6 years? I go back through my posts here and I see a theme where I'm not feeling well, and all of the work God does in my life through it.  I hope to once again find encouragement in that, as I have been a little overwhelmed with discouragement this time. 

It started in the beginning of February with a routine cold/flu-like virus, from which I never fully recovered. I went on to feel quite ill with a variety of symptoms, including a daily fever, for almost 2 months. Once again I went through the gamut of blood work and testing, only to find "nothing wrong".  It was considered to possibly be a relapse of Lyme Disease so I went on another course of antibiotics. I can't say that helped much this time, but eventually, as of today, I do feel better - finally, and thank God! However, I have been dealing with vertigo and feeling off balance again. I will admit, that is my worst nightmare! What I went through with that, as you can read through past posts, I never wanted to deal with again. We shall see what becomes of it.

In the meantime, I was asked recently to speak at a women's group and to share a testimony of God's work in my life. As God would have it, He laid it on my heart to share about the time in my life 6 years ago where I was faced with an unknown illness that brought me through 2 years of uncertainty regarding my health and a whole lot of spiritual healing. I have a blog entry devoted to all of the work He did in my life during that time, and that is what I shared with the group. You can find that post here.  I had never shared before and didn't feel equipped to do it. I struggled with the idea and even wished I wasn't chosen to speak. I'm just not good at public speaking, and very insecure as to feeling as if I have anything to share! That's funny considering I share a lot here! This is behind a screen though, and not actually putting myself out there. I was thinking one morning, what if what I share doesn't mean anything to anyone and I just make a fool of myself? After all, it's God's work in MY life, and perhaps they could not relate. The morning I was to speak, my devotional read:

"If you are strong or gifted enough to accomplish a task, what room is there for God to work? If you can personally guarantee a successful conclusion to the assignment you face, what need is there for faith? That is why God will challenge you beyond what you can handle. It is only when you cannot manage your circumstances that you acknowledge God's hand. Any success you achieve is from God. Of course no one likes to relinquish control, but that is what it takes to see his astounding work in your life. Are you committed to following Him no matter what it takes?" 

That reading was extremely encouraging to me, and it gave me the assurance that God was telling me not to worry about the outcome, but to share out of obedience and leave the results up to Him. I did end up speaking because I also knew that if God put me on our group leader's heart to share, then God wanted me to do it, and I would be able to in His strength. After I shared, I got positive feedback that it was a  blessing. Some of the women were struggling with things in their own lives that I shared, and they said it was a real encouragement. My story is His story, and all glory goes to Him!

So, here I am, full circle from an illness that God used as a testimony of His work in my life to share with a women's group and encourage others, to being sick again with the same dizzy symptoms that started it all the first time. I'll admit that I'm struggling to find contentment in this circumstance (Philippians 4:11), but I know now that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (v13). 

Happy New Year - 2019

I can't believe I haven't posted an update here since July of last year. I guess it's because I've shifted my focus to blogging on my website, Living Word Decor, although I haven't shared anything as personal as I've shared here. I still enjoy having this blog and all of my previous posts out there for those who are meant to find, and be encouraged by, them. For those who are wondering about my Lyme's Disease journey, I am currently in good health in that regard, although dealing with some residual stomach issues due to all of the antibiotics I have taken. 

This is what I recently shared on my shop's blog page for the New Year... 

Another year is upon us, and the time has come for resolutions. I don't personally make them myself, but I used to. The only one I ever stuck to was reading through the Bible in year, and even then I was playing catch-up from the days that I missed. Looking ahead is something everyone does this time of year, but I like to start by looking back.

I like to keep journals of God's work in my life each year and, looking back to the beginning of 2018, I came across a devotional I saved from January 7th. It was entitled "For the Right Moment", and it was about God's work in our lives to prepare us for His perfect timing to send us into the work He has planned for us. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10). I had decided that this would be my only expectation for this year, to wait and see what He had planned, even on the days it felt like nothing was happening at all. I had my own ideas of what I wanted to accomplish, but in typical God fashion, what I ended up involved in were things I never could have imagined on my own.

For one thing, I started my own website! I never imagined leaving Etsy and stepping out in faith to create my own online store, but here it is! That is a story in itself. I learned a lot about the real definition of success as this first year on my own brought less exposure resulting in fewer sales compared to last year. The Lord had to remind me of why I started this business. It was never about sales, but to impact others' lives for Him. He showed me that I was walking in obedience to His will by leaving Etsy, and the results were up to Him. He also used a Christian blogger to teach me that real success is not defined by the world's standards. I'll never forget her saying, "If only one person follows me or reads this post and their life is touched by Jesus, then that is Godly success because that touched life is precious to God and will go on to impact others for Him". So true! Then there were the lives of people I will never forget, like my grandma's friend Sarah and a man I met at a nursing home named Jim, who I never imagined God would give me the privilege of sharing His love with. I could write a book about my experiences with them, and how my life and faith were changed by being a part of their story. This was also the first full year without my mother and grandmother, who both passed away last year less than 2 months apart. Much like the one set of "footprints in the sand", God carried me through those first anniversaries of their passing, first birthdays being gone, and the bittersweet sale of our childhood home.

As you reflect back on 2018, I hope you see God's hand in all of your own highs, lows and everything in between. If you are the type to make resolutions with a heart full of hopes, dreams and expectations for the New Year, as you look ahead remember if things don't go as planned that there is one who is "the same yesterday, today and forever"... Jesus Christ (Hebrews 13:8)! He doesn't change at the start of every new year, and He doesn't fail like a resolution by February 1st. He has plans for you that are far better than anything you could have planned for yourself, and your hope and trust in Him will never disappoint. Look to Him this new year. He is the one who is seated on the throne and truly makes "all things new" (Revelation 21:5).

The one thing I do want for this upcoming year is what I always want, and it's from the book of Colossians. I pray this year, and always, that I "may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that I will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience" (Colossians 1:9-11). I pray this for you too!

I wish everyone a Happy and blessed New Year! I look forward to what God has planned for my life this coming year, and for Living Word Decor. Thank you so much for your support of my shop, and God bless!