Saturday, August 9, 2014

Keep looking up! (medical UPdate on my vestibular disorder)

I saw my ENT doctor yesterday for a follow-up visit. I told her all about my recent developments with my illness, how I seem to have had some sort of set back.  I told her all about my theory on me possibly having migraine associated vertigo (which she shot down), and how I started the MAV diet (she had no comment as to whether or not I should continue).  She basically told me that what I'm experiencing is a "normal" part of this illness. I know it's true to have ups and downs, but to have my symptoms dramatically change after being the same for 6 months puzzled me. It's still hard to accept that it's normal, but what else can I do when no one knows for sure? She doesn't think I have migraine associated vertigo because I don't have the "classic" symptoms, which to her knowledge include the headache with the dizziness/vertigo.  However, this goes against everything I've read about the illness. From what I understand, a lot of sufferers have the vestibular symptoms of the migraine with no pain (I do have a history of true headache type migraines).  After a lengthy talk, she concluded with: "I'll be honest with you, I could be wrong". Not very reassuring!
 
She went on to tell me not to fear the positional vertigo, that is fatigues quickly if I just let it pass instead of changing position to make it stop. Thankfully, this type of dizziness does not happen to me often, but it was a nice reminder.  Although then she added: "If it doesn't stop, feel free to curse me out".  Again, not very reassuring! 
 
While on the topic of vertigo, I told her that I had not laid on my right side for years for fear of triggering an attack, as any previous bouts of positional vertigo I had would be triggered by laying on my right side.  She told me not to avoid this position, but rather get back into it so my brain can get used it.  She then told me about one of her patients who told her she would get dizzy when looking up so she hadn't looked up for 10 years!  I had to chuckle because I could certainly relate to the avoidance behavior.  She said she told this woman, don't do that, keep looking up!  (In other words, don't avoid the position that makes you uncomfortable.)
 
As I lay in bed this morning, in between that place of still being asleep and just waking up, the words "keep looking up" came back to me and I immediately thought about looking up towards God.  I was reminded of this scripture: "Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on the earth" (Colossians 3:1-2)
 
I know He wants me to look to Him, not to my illness but it's all I can focus on since my latest attack and I know it's not where my mind should be. I look up, I look down, I look back up, I look back down and sometimes I'm looking down for too long.  A lot of times I'm still looking down even when I'm looking up.  I'm seeking the Lord and professing my trust, as I'm seeking ways to lessen my symptoms or get healed through diets, supplements, doctors, holistic practitioners.  Why can't I truly rest in His promise to heal me and just wait!?

I left the doctor's office without any more knowledge regarding my illness than I had before. As a matter of fact, I may be more confused. She continues to believe I have uncompensated labyrinthitis and that it will get better one day.
 
Dear Lord, I know You know that this illness is not easy for me, but I also know You want me to trust You completely.  I have dealt with fear, anxiety and control my whole life and it's clear you are working through these things in my life with this illness.  I thank You that in your sovereignty You know exactly what is going on and have it all under control.  Thank you for the spiritual work you are doing in my life and that I can rest knowing You have my best interests in mind through it all.  Please help me to stop seeking other forms of reassurance and to only look up and to keep looking up!  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
 
 

5 comments:

  1. Christine - it's Lynn from "Let Al Creation Sing!" and I found your comment and was able to hunt you down here at your blog. It seemed easier to leave you a note here ( although I did reply on my posting ).

    We do need to connect further. As you are also on blogger, sometimes an email address will come up in my g-mail account which I only have because of the blog. I used my "real email" through another server but I am open to leaving that g-mail address here and we can take it from there.

    Oh - how I totally understand ALL you are feeling and trying and one doctor says this and another doctor says that and most have not a clue. That stress in itself can make it all worse. Definitely ANY change in the barometric pressure affects the inner ear and makes the vertigo worse. And I can't remember "my decades" ago if my monthly cycle made it worse but it would follow that i could as it is also related to the cycles of the earth ( I am not being "new age" here ). It was years before I realized why I felt worse when at the ocean - the ebb and tide of the waters. Wow - will LOVE to share with you and help you know you are going to survive! So contact me at "lynnielou.severance ( at ) gmail.com

    How DID you find me? Are you involved at Rest Ministries or ??? However it happened - let's just say that God directed it. If you are on Facebook - there are some GREAT groups - one in particular for those of us with a chronic condition. The woman I mentioned in the blog post you read is in that group but other than her, I have not met anyone over the years who deals with this and I am soooo sorry that you do. However knowing someone who really GETS IS can be so helpful.

    More later when we can connect and not be writing a novel in the comment section of your blog!

    Hugs of comfort and understanding!
    Lynn

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    1. Hi Lynn! Thank you SO much for finding me here and commenting so that we can connect! I will email you today. I had been praying for the Lord to bring a Christian woman into my life who understands what I am going through and here you are! What an awesome God we serve! I really looking forward to connecting with you. xo

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  2. Christine, you recently posted on my blog about this and I'd love to email you a few more thoughts if you're interested. Email me if so at jamesandterra{at}gmail{dot}com . :)

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    1. Thank you, Terra! I will email you! :)

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