I've been wanting to make this blog more than just about video fitness DVD reviews for a while now. Since what I experienced this morning while in quiet time with the Lord was too good not to share, I thought I'd make my first non-fitness related post about it.
I suffer from a form of vertigo called benign positional vertigo. Without all the technical details, I'm told that the balance crystals in my ear occasionally get out of place and float around, thus tricking my body into thinking the world is spinning when it's not. If you've ever experienced this, I really feel for you and please know you are in my prayers. It's called benign because it's not serious (as in: life threatening... it certainly feels serious otherwise!), and positional because it has to do with head movements. It used to only happen once, maybe twice a year but lately it's been getting more frequent. In between my bouts of vertigo, I tend to feel like I'm on a rocky boat. It's this constant feeling of being off balance and the world around me sort of swaying. That almost feels worse than the vertigo because no change in head position can make it go away.
I've prayed about it, asked others to pray for me and have tried to not worry and just trust in God. I have felt the prayers of others for me working through peace and even feeling better physically, but for the past few days, the dizziness has gotten the best of my emotions. I reached a point just last night where I cried out to the Lord with one of those desperate please, please, pleeease meet me here Lord cries. I needed Him in that moment, I need Him now and as the tears fell I begged Him to heal me. More than that, I just begged for His presence, for His life changing power to fill me up and to help me go on. I needed to know that He heard me (by faith I believe He heard me, but I wanted one of those confirmations only He can give physically). I started to feel a bit better and laid back to relax. As the day drew to a close, I slowly drifted off to sleep.
During my quiet time this morning, I've been working through a Bible Study called No Worries: Learning to Trust our Sovereign God. The days study revolved around 2 Kings 20:1-6 where the Lord tells King Hezekiah that he needs to get his affairs in order because he's going to die. Hezekiah cries out to the Lord in tears and this is the Lord's response:
Thus says the Lord, the God of your father David, "I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; behold, I will heal you". (2 Kings 20:5)
Wow!! My eyes immediately welled up with tears as I felt the Lord speaking directly to me. I can't even fully express here in writing what an awesome moment that was or what power I felt in those words. The God of the universe was speaking to me. That was His answer to me. He heard my prayers, He saw my tears, He will heal me. He chose to reveal Himself to me, not at all surprisingly, through His living word.
Does this mean I will be instantly free from my vertigo or ongoing feelings of being off balance? I don't know, but I believe that my all powerful God can do it if that is His will. According to His word, which never fails that is His will! He will heal me, in His time, how He sees fit. For now I will rest in the security of His promises and preserve His answer to me in this post as a reminder of my God who loves me, who hears me and who answers me when I call.
Thank you, Lord.